(2002)

Submitted by Tornado Dragon

SHORT VERSION:
The reason Stiles has been trying to prevent Red and Harold from making it to the contest and winning the money to pay the fine is because he plans to demolish Possum Lodge after they default on the payment and construct a women-only yuppie resort in its place. He despises the lodge not just because the members wrecked his limo, but because, when he was young, his father was a member and would always go there whenever there was a family crisis, leaving his mother to sort things out alone. When he got older, his mother kicked him out of the house and told him to never come back until he made something of himself, so as to not end up like his father. He blamed Possum Lodge for ruining his mother’s life, so buying it and destroying it would be the ultimate payback and finally enable him to return home. 

However, despite Stiles’ best efforts, Red, Harold, and their duct tape goose ultimately make it to the contest and win the $10,000 third prize (which they felt they had a chance at), saving the lodge. At the next lodge meeting, Harold brings Stiles there, as well as his mother, and the two reconcile. Red makes Harold a lifetime charter member of the lodge, and Deputy Dawn – who had fallen for Harold during hers and Sheriff Tompkins’ attempts to stop him and Red on Stiles’ behalf – shows up and entices Harold outside, where he passionately kisses him.

LONG VERSION:
After firing Sheriff Tompkins (Darren Frost) and Deputy Dawn (Melissa DiMarco) for their repeated failures to prevent Red (Steve Smith) and Harold (Patrick McKenna) from getting their duct tape goose to the Duct Tape Contest in Minneapolis, Stiles (Richard Fitzpatrick) decides to take matters into his own hands. He has his limo driver make Red and Harold crash the Possum Van and then he kidnaps Harold in the confusion that follows.

Looking for some place to contact Stiles, Red ends up at a train station with unfinished tracks controlled by Ranger Gord (Peter Keleghan). Red calls Stiles on his payphone, and Stiles offers to trade Harold for the goose, but Red replies that he’ll think it over. Red then calls Dalton (Bob Bainborough) and tells him that Stiles has Harold, and asks him about what he and Mike (Wayne Robson) had earlier dug up about Stiles when they searched his office. Dalton tells him that he found an acknowledgement of a receipt for an application Stiles sent to the county records office to do a development project around Possum Lodge. Knowing now that Stiles is indeed trying to take over the lodge, Red tells Dalton that he will go down to that office and intercept the application before it gets processed, since Stiles won’t be able to take over the lodge until it is approved. He then asks Dalton if he and the other lodge members can come up to Mercury Creek tomorrow, and he replies that they will, but they will have to come by bus, and it will arrive at the town’s bus station at 12:09. Red then calls Stiles back saying that they will make the trade at the Mercury Creek bus station tomorrow at 12:09 because he needs the time to notify the other lodge members about the trade. Stiles then tells his thug Arnie (Layton Morrison) to call for a bunch of their men to come down to the meeting place.

After Red gets the address for the county records office from Gord, he breaks in that night and finds Stiles’ application. He discovers that it has already been approved, and it states that, should the lodge fail to come up with the $10,000 in time, Stiles will be given the go-ahead to demolish the lodge in order to build a women-only yuppie resort. Meanwhile, Stiles reveals to Harold that, when he was a boy, his father was a member of Possum Lodge, and went there every time there was a family crisis, leaving his mother to sort things out alone. When he got older, his mother booted him out of the house and told him to not come back until he made something of himself so he wouldn’t be like his father. He blamed the lodge for ruining his mother’s life, so buying the place and destroying it would be the ultimate payback for her and would enable him to return home.  

The next day, Red meets the other lodge members at the bus station, and after he fills them in on Stiles’ plans, Stiles and his thugs show up with Harold. After whispering something to the lodge members, Red has them go inside the bus station in exchange for Stiles’ thugs dropping their weapons. Stiles tells his men to go guard the goose, and then Red gets Harold back and they enter the Possum Van. Unbeknownst to the villains, the chain connecting the van to the trailer holding the goose is still attached and buried beneath the dirt, and the lodge members sneak in behind the goons and get into the vehicles they came in, so Red and Harold escape with the goose and the lodge members escape with the vehicles. Harold also shows Red that he secretly removed the distributor wires from Stiles’ limousine so he can’t follow them in it. Red soon sends Dalton ahead to the festival to try to stall the contest, and he sends the others back to the lodge to make sure Stiles doesn’t try anything. Despite Dalton’s efforts, the contest begins a while later, and the first and second prize winners gradually get announced.

After Red and Harold cross the border into the U.S., Stiles and Arnie catch up to them using the bus that the lodge members came in for the showdown, and Arnie starts shooting at the van. Eventually, Harold decides to try to stop Stiles by dumping gasoline onto the road, hoping that the bus will slip and slide on it and crash. He takes the gas cans in the van and goes right inside the goose with them, and as he is spilling the gas from out of the goose’s rear, Arnie shoots one of the cans, causing an explosion that launches the goose – and Harold – skyward. The goose majestically flies right down into the contest, and Harold falls out of its rear, singed but alive. This impresses the judges enough to award him and an arriving Red third place and the $10,000 prize, and Possum Lodge is saved.

At the next lodge meeting, Harold brings Stiles to it. Initially thinking that Harold brought him here to humiliate him, he is pleased to see that Harold had brought along his mother, too, and the two reconcile and leave together. Red then makes Harold a lifetime charter member of Possum Lodge (though he has put “Doofus” on the back of his lodge vest), and Deputy Dawn – who had grown attracted to Harold – appears in the midst of this, and she entices Harold outside and gives him a passionate kiss. Edgar (Graham Greene) brings in a cake he made to celebrate, but he doesn’t realize that the candles on it are sticks of dynamite until he has already lit the fuses. The lodge members get outside before the dynamite explodes and blows a big hole in the roof. The movie ends with Red and the others looking for some duct tape to fix the damage.