(2007)

Submitted by Tornado Dragon

SHORT VERSION:
Bob and Neil of the D.I.C. unit have been stealing prescription drugs from the hospital and selling them on the street under orders from Captain Limison, the head of Bayside’s Emergency Medical Services. Rich and the other members of his B.A.L.S. unit manage to obtain video evidence of this (as well as video evidence of Limison cheating on his wife with a hooker, which Bob and Neil shot for potential blackmailing use) and have it played at a party Limison is holding at his house to kick off his safe community campaign. Limison, Bob, and Neil are subsequently arrested and incarcerated, leaving B.A.L.S. as the only EMT unit in town.

All of the members of B.A.L.S. would eventually go on to find success in one form or another, and Rich goes steady with Megan.

LONG VERSION:
One day, Rich (Tyler Poelle) and Megan (Dianna Agron) – who have just really started to hit it off – run into each other at the hospital, and the teary-eyed Megan tells Rich that some prescription drugs went missing during her shift and she has just been fired over it. When Rich pulls out some tissues to give to her, he pulls out a sample bottle of Rigid that he took earlier in the film to use in a prank on Bob (Tim Piper) and Neil (David Leo Schultz) of the rival D.I.C. unit. She accuses Rich of being the thief and stops talking to him. Later that day, his superior Sarge (Chuck Kelley) informs him and the rest of the B.A.L.S. unit that they have a paramedic field test tomorrow morning against D.I.C., and the winning unit will qualify for paramedic school while the losing unit will have to shut down for good.

The night before the test, One-Foot (Mikey Post) shows Rich the video camera he stole from Bob and Neil, and plays back a video that Neil (accidentally) recorded of them stealing the drugs from the hospital for Captain Limison (Larrs Jackson), the head of Bayside’s Emergency Medical Services, with intent to deal them on the street (and, off-screen, they also see a second video Bob and Neil recorded of Limison cheating on his wife with a hooker for potential blackmailing use). The two of them get into Bob’s and Neil’s lockers at the hospital and put hair removal solution in their shampoo and heat powder in the crotches of their underwear, but Rich – no doubt remembering the video footage – tells One-Foot that these pranks just aren’t enough, and they need to take it up a notch.

The first thing they do is perform badly on the test and enable D.I.C. to pass it. When they and the rest of B.A.L.S. return to headquarters, Roger (Joel Roman) shows up and informs them that Bob and Neil paid him a visit and gave him a black eye as a “going away present”, but he also overheard them say that they will be getting their acceptance certificates later today at a party Limison is holding at his house to kick off his safe community campaign. Deciding that this would be the perfect opportunity to take down Limison and D.I.C., Rich heads over there with the B.A.L.S. in tow, and along the way, he calls Megan and asks her to meet them there, saying that he might be able to get her re-hired. Megan shows up along with the apparently vegetablized wheelchair patient (Matthew Funk) she regularly took care of, and she tells Rich that she has decided to give him a second chance. Bob and Neil show up with bald spots and burning crotches.

Limison tries to show a video presentation to the partygoers (with the mayor of Bayside among them) outlining the future of his campaign, but One-Foot had earlier switched that video with a compilation video of the drug theft and Limison’s infidelity, so that plays instead. Having been exposed, Limison tries to run away, but T-Bone (Les Jennings) and Karl (Scott Dittman) stop him. Bob and Neil then show up looking to harm Rich, but end up accidentally harming Limison instead, mainly due to an assist from the wheelchair guy, who stands up and reveals himself to be an undercover DEA agent. He had been secretly watching Limison, Bob, and Neil for a while, and he decided to reveal himself now mainly because he has been driven crazy by everyone’s idiocy. A disoriented Limison ends up taking a tumble into his pool with the agent, and then Bob and Neil distract the partygoers with Viagra and make their escape. Rich and Megan happily leave together, and Limison, Bob, and Neil are later arrested and incarcerated.

The movie then shows what became of the B.A.L.S. members six months later: