(2020)

Submitted by DissedHerb

POOPER:
Bill and Ted’s daughters arrange the song to unite the world and save reality while their parents distribute instruments to people throughout history.

LONG VERSION:
25 years after their last big performance, Bill and Ted serve as the musical entertainment for the wedding of Ted’s younger brother Deacon to former step-parent of both Missy. While they attempt to play a song encompassing several instruments and throat singing, the only ones who seem to jive with their music are their daughters Wilhelmina “Billy” Logan and Theadora “Thea” Preston. After the performance, Ted’s father police Chief Logan again admonishes Ted for his life choices and tells the two to find paid work.

Joanna and Elizabeth are unwittingly duped into attending a couples counseling session with their husbands, where the latter make further fools of themselves, prompting the counselor to ask to speak to the women alone.

Bill and Ted worry that they will not be able to write the prophesied song that unites the world. An upgraded booth from the future appears carrying Kelly, daughter of Rufus (named after Kelly Carlin, daughter of George Carlin, who played Rufus). Kelly takes them to the future to meet her mother, the Great Leader, who reveals the exact time and place where the song that unites the world will be recorded. As they only have 77 minutes (coincidentally the total duration of the film), they decide to use the old phone booth to get the song from their future selves.

Meanwhile, reality and the time-space continuum go into flux, replacing historical figures in different time periods, causing the Great Leader to send an assassin robot back in time to kill Bill and Ted, as that could reset everything and save reality. Appalled by her mother’s decision, Kelly lets Thea and Billy use her upgraded booth to travel back in time to round up the greatest musicians. They manage to get Jimi Hendrix, Louis Armstrong, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Ling Lun, and a cavewoman named Grom who is suggested to be the first drummer.

Bill and Ted continue to go forward in time, noticing their lives deteriorating over the years as their wives leave them, they go to prison, and ultimately end up in hospice care, where their older selves give them the jump drive containing the song “Face the Music,” recorded by “Logan and Preston.”

The robot accidentally kills Ted’s father, Kelly, the children, and the band just as they add Kid Cudi. Bill and Ted confront the robot, break the jump drive in half, and get him to kill himself and them, requiring them to challenge Death in the afterlife. With a little coaxing from their daughters, Bill and Ted manage to get Death to join the band.

Everyone arrives on a highway outside of San Dimas as reality begins to collapse upon itself, dropping the Eiffel Tower and the Sahara desert on opposite sides of the city. As Bill and Ted watch their daughters arrange the musicians to get the synth equipment ready, they realize that the “Logan and Preston” from the jump drive is referring to their daughters. Bill and Ted, reunited with Elizabeth and Joanna, manage to time travel into the quantum realm by dialing infinity into the booth. Throughout time, the four are able to infinitely provide musical instruments to individuals.

They come back to a stage on the flatbed of a semi-truck, and are given guitars by their daughters. The band plays together with the entire world and the entirety of space-time. Reality resets, and we are to believe they all lived happily ever after.