Cabin Fever

Short version: Everybody dies.

Long version: A crazed dog mauls an infected Marcy (Cerina Vincent) and chews the face off of the dying Karen (Jordan Ladd). Said dog is shot by Paul (Rider Strong), who then finishes off his beloved Karen by striking many repeated blows with a shovel. Bert (James DeBello) returns to the cabin after having been bitten by the freakish hillbilly child Dennis (Matthew Helms) with Dennis' gun-toting father in hot pursuit. Already dying from the virus, Bert is shotgunned by his trio of redneck assassins, who are then neatly dispatched by the formerly mild-mannered Paul using ordinary household tools. Attempting to escape on foot, Paul discovers that the hermit who started the whole mess conveniently expired in the local water supply. After senselessly poking at the rotted corpse with a stick, Paul falls in as well, rendering the question of his previous level of infection somewhat moot. He appropriates the rednecks' pickup, but his departure is slowed somewhat when he strikes a deer who's just standing in the road like an idiot. He humanely puts the beast out of its misery with a shotgun, which drenches him in blood, giving him an off-putting appearence when he runs into Deputy Winston (Giuseppe Andrews) and some underaged partiers and begs them for help. He overhears Winston being ordered to kill any of the infected vacationers, so he attacks Winston and spews blood on some of the teens and runs off to beg passersby for assistance. He passes out in front of an oncoming semi, which drops him off, unconscious, at a local hospital. The small-town docs are apparently unfamiliar with the basic principles of contagion control and allow the sheriff to send Paul off to the big city, which is code for killing him and dumping his body in the woods. The next morning, a dazed and confused Jeff (Joey Kern) emerges from hiding a little tipsy but uninfected. He returns to the cabin to survey the gore and realizes that he is the only survivor. As he revels in his continued existence, he is shot to death by the sheriff's minions. The bodies are then burned ... all except for one. Winston naturally dumped Paul in another watering hole where a couple of enterprising youths, having decided to bypass the filtered and purified water provided by our tax dollars, collect water for a lemonade stand. A hootenanny at the local general store is attended by the townsfolk, who all enjoy the refreshing lemony treat. Oh, and the contaminated spring water is bottled up and sent out into the world.
Thanks, Alex E (original) and Dusty (exciting revision)!

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