(2013)

Submitted by Linsey

Pooper:
Clif and Derek are lifelong friends who decide to take a trip around the world and do a travel blog along the way.  Derek meets a girl in Paris named Audrey, they hook up, and then Clif and their friends walk into the hotel room and find him beat up.  Derek develops super powers but can’t eat.

Clif and Derek figure out Derek is a vampire.  He accidentally kills* Clif so he searches out Audrey, the girl who turned him in Paris, after a failed attempt at suicide.  She tells him he can’t control the hunger/that he must kill but he can choose who.  She tells him she picked him because she new he was dying (because he had a brain aneurism that could kill him at any time) and didn’t mean to make him a vampire.  Then we see Derek film himself killing a child molester.

*During the end credits we see Clif attack some people on vacation – apparently Derek didn’t kill him, but turned him.

Longer:
Clif and Derek are lifelong friends who decide to go on a trip around the world (and film/blog about the trip along the way) because Derek has discovered he’s got a brain aneurism and wants to live a little before it kills him.

They meet friends in France, go to a performance of the friends and they all try to get Derek to hook up with a French girl.  Eventually he meets a pretty girl named Audrey and go back to the hotel room with her.  The friends decide to play a trick on him and walk in on him while he’s with the girl and find the girl missing and Derek passed out and beat up.  Derek doesn’t want to go to the hospital (because he’s scared they won’t be able to continue/something will happen with the aneurism) but sleeps for days and wakes up.  He can’t keep food down but can run super fast, leap really high, break gigantic rocks and then gets super sensitive to the sunlight and gets a bad burn.

Clif and Derek decide that Derek is a vampire.  They try cow’s blood –  he barfs – can’t keep it down. They decide he must need fresh blood and first trying unsuccessfully to lure a stray dog with sausage and then Derek kills a winery owners pet pig but again – barf – can’t keep it down.  Then they decide to go to the hospital and accidentally walk in front of a car.  The guy gets out and starts yelling at them and Derek beats the two guys up and then licks blood of his hand and they don’t go into the hospital.

Derek then tries to get blood at a blood bank, can’t, causes a problem and then leaves his i.d. there and runs off.  At the hotel, Derek goes days without blood and has a crazy growling seizure.  Clif tries to feed Derek some of his blood but Derek can’t control himself and accidentally kills* Clif.  Derek shoots himself in the head with a shotgun, but doesn’t die.

Derek then continues to do the travel blog in search of the girl who turned him, hoping she can help him.  During his search he’s pursued by authorities and gets chased and shot at, accidentally drops a police officer off a roof, burned in the sun.

He finds her companion/helper guy and then Audrey.  She tells him she meant to kill him because he was already dying and didn’t mean to turn him.  She tells him she picked him because she new he was dying (because he had a brain aneurism that could kill him at any time) and didn’t mean to make him a vampire.  Then we see Derek film himself killing a child molester.

*During the end credits we see Clif attack some people on vacation.  Derek didn’t kill him, but turned him, too.