Submitted by Quinn

Eventually Michael, impatient to get his promotion, tells the remote to fast-forward him to when he gets it – which, it turns out, is in a year. The remote programs itself and fast-forwards past anything Michael has skipped before – showering, sex with his wife, hugging his kids, more promotions, etc. etc. Eventually his whole life has passed him by – he is successful but alone. He has missed his father’s death, caused by Morty, who reveals that he is the Angel of Death (!). His wife, Donna (Kate Beckinsale) has left him for their son’s old swimming coach, Billy (Sean Astin.) His daughter, Samantha, is a gorgeous blonde, and his son Ben is also a successful architect. He has a heart attack at Ben’s wedding and is visited in the futuristic hospital by Ben and Samantha. Ben reveals that he has cancelled his honeymoon because he has too much work to do, which horrifies Michael because it reminds him of himself. Ben and Samantha are eventually asked to leave by a male nurse. Michael runs out after them but unplugs himself from the machine keeping him alive, so he collapses in the street as his family gets into a taxi. Ben spots him right before they leave and runs to his aid; Samantha, Donna and Billy soon follow. As Michael dies in the street, he tells a sobbing Ben what he has learned: “Family comes first.” He then passes on, but we are quickly taken back to…

…Bed Bath and Beyond, where Michael had met Morty in the first place. He’s been asleep in one of the display beds. It was all a dream. Elated, he drives back to his home and hugs his kids and wife, appreciating them like he never has before. When the kids are in bed and Donna is upstairs waiting to make love with Michael – which he’s excited he will be able to experience again! – he sees the remote on the table, with a card from Morty saying that he “knows he [Michael] will use it correctly this time.” Michael picks up the remote and throws it in the garbage, does a typical Sandler-fied dance, and runs upstairs.