(1996)

Submitted by Tornado Dragon

SHORT VERSION:
Despite numerous obstacles of many kinds, Jack succeeds in getting Vera to Mo and her plane of elephants bound for Sri Lanka. Mo tells Jack that she used up all of her budget and thus can’t pay him the $30,000 she offered for Vera, but Jack doesn’t care anymore, for he just wants Vera to have a happy and free life. He and Vera say goodbye to each other in their own ways before she is brought on board, and as the plane flies away, Jack tells Mo that, despite now being $50,000 in the hole, all he can think about is how much he will miss Vera. He and Mo then leave together to get a vegetarian meal.

Closing texts state that Jack and Mo were on hand to watch Vera give birth to her first calf, and by that time they were a couple, with Jack having ended his engagement to Celeste in the interim. He also wrote a memoir about his travels with Vera that spent 64 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List.

LONG VERSION:
Jack (Bill Murray) gets Vera to Terry (Linda Fiorentino) and her circus in Los Angeles, but as he and Terry are ironing out their deal, he watches one of the animal trainers using an electric goad on another elephant, plus he hears how the circus does three shows a day every day. Deciding that this life is no life for Vera, he sneaks her into a transport truck and makes off with it for the San Diego airport to get her to Mo (Janeane Garofolo) and the plane of elephants bound for Sri Lanka. After he leaves, Tip (Matthew McConaughey) enters the circus to find and get revenge on him for deceiving him into transporting Vera and for Vera manhandling him slightly, but learns that he has gone to San Diego, so he pilfers an electric goad and continues his pursuit.

Jack reaches the airport and tries to enter the tarmac, but the security guard refuses him access because he and Vera aren’t on the manifest. Jack therefore parks the truck in the passenger drop-off zone and he and Vera get out and start running through the terminal to get to the plane. They are stopped at a security checkpoint, and as Jack is bargaining with the guards to let them pass, Tip appears and wildly accuses Jack and Vera of having tried to kill him. To get both the security guards and Tip off his case, Jack exploits Tip’s extreme paranoia about the government by pretending to speak into a hidden microphone, and Tip quickly believes that he is getting busted in a government sting, so he goes into a frenzy and whips out the goad and swings it around. As the security guards deal with restraining him, Jack and Vera press on.

Jack and Vera find Mo and the waiting plane, and she informs Jack that she spent her whole budget and therefore can’t pay him the $30,000 she offered for Vera, but he doesn’t care, for he only cares now about Vera having a happy and free life. He and Vera say goodbye to each other in their own ways before she is brought aboard, and as he watches the plane fly away, he tells Mo that, despite now being $50,000 in the hole and having stolen a truck, all he can think about is how much he will miss Vera. He and Mo then leave together to get a vegetarian meal.

The closing texts state that Jack and Mo were on hand to watch Vera give birth to her first calf in Sri Lanka, and by that time they were a couple, with Jack having ended his engagement to Celeste (Maureen Mueller) in the interim. His book, Get Over It, never made it to a second printing, but he wrote a memoir about his travels with Vera that spent 64 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List. Celeste got married to his agent Walter (Jeremy Piven), and Jack’s mother (Anita Gillette) runs their life. Tip got away and still roams the back roads of America.

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