(2016)

Submitted by Tornado Dragon

When Richie (Craig Bierko) still won’t pay Evan (Steven Weber) the half of his jackpot winnings that Evan feels he is entitled to, Evan tells him that the results of the MRI he had done to determine what the lump in the back of his head is have showed that he has a malignant brain tumor (the MRI results really revealed that he didn’t have one at all). Evan tells his assistant Millie (Jennifer Leigh Warren) that he plans to call Richie later to inform him that it was a prank, but when he attempts to, Richie is leaving to take his mother Selma (Viola Harris) back home after a visit, so he leaves his big reveal on the answering machine. Later, Richie – after remembering Selma saying that she couldn’t go on if something happened to him – decides to give her a “mercy killing” by having Digby (Orlando Jones), a homeless man, enter her house late at night using his key and scare her so her weak heart will have an attack and she’ll die (though he doesn’t tell Digby about Selma being there). Digby cluelessly enters the house and scares Selma, and she does have a heart attack while he runs away. When Richie returns home, he gets Evan’s message and starts to freak out, believing that he has now murdered his mother, so he goes to her house and calls an ambulance for her. She is discovered to not be dead but is hospitalized, and when investigating cops eventually trace the cause of this incident back to Richie, they warn him that he will be placed under arrest if she dies. With the key still in his possession, Digby invites some of his fellow vagrants to crash with him at Selma’s house, and they end up wrecking the place.

During all of this, Evan gets told by Richie about what happened to Selma because of his prank just as he is about to perform surgery on TV star Danny Pepper (Matt Keeslar) to remove a bad testicle, and he is so mentally distraught that he accidentally puts Danny’s X-ray in backwards and therefore takes out his good testicle. This leaves Evan no choice but to fully castrate him, leaving him with a high-pitched voice. Danny doesn’t speak of his botched surgery to anyone, but his changed voice doesn’t go unnoticed by the executives at the studio broadcasting his show, and they tell him that they’re putting him on a leave of absence until he gets his old voice back. Danny returns to New York to find and get revenge on Evan.

Selma recovers well, but then Richie finds out from a doctor that when she fell from her heart attack, she hit her head and ruptured an aneurysm by the posterior cerebral artery and will have to undergo a very complicated operation to fix it, but she might not survive it. The doctor suggests that he get Evan to do the surgery since she might have a chance if he did it. Richie fills Evan in on the details, and despite their hostilities and Evan’s lack of faith in himself after what happened with Danny, Evan agrees to perform the operation.

The surgery is a success, and after he tells Richie about it, he informs him that the fee will be the half of the jackpot winnings he is after, so Richie pays him with little hesitation. Jack (Jack Kehler), the landlord of Selma’s house, then stops by and sees the destruction Digby and the other hobos have caused, and the hobos take this as their cue to leave. Evan returns to his apartment that night with a suitcase containing the money Richie paid him, but then he gets surprised by a gun-toting Danny. Danny forces him out onto the balcony intending to send him over it to his death, but when he gets distracted by a nearby two-ball Newton’s cradle, Evan fights back. As they struggle, Evan’s estranged wife Joan (Karen Sillas) shows up and sees what is happening, so she takes the briefcase and hits Evan with it, believing him to be the antagonist. The briefcase flies over the edge of the balcony and down onto the sidewalk right next to Digby, and after he sees what is inside of it, he runs off with it. Joan tends to Danny in her apartment, and he tells her that he had no bullets in the gun and only just wanted to see Evan beg for his life. Joan apparently decides to get involved with him because she likes how he lacks testicles.

Richie takes Selma back to her house and departs, but when she sees the state her house is in, she has another heart attack, but this time a fatal one. At her funeral, Jack comes up to Richie and informs him that he has to pay for the damages the vagrants caused since his name was on the lease, and Richie discovers that the cost will eat up the rest of his jackpot winnings. Digby then pulls up in a new car and and Jack leaves to talk to him, since he was interested in renting the house. Evan then arrives and both apologize for how they acted towards one another.

Richie returns home and finds that his earlier-injured back has healed, so he goes back to fellating himself again. Evan returns to his practice and sees his regular patient Irwin (Alan Wilder) first, and it seems like Irwin will try to have Evan lie about his brain tumor being malignant so he can get a date with Millie, after she said she might date him if he did have one.