(2013)

Submitted by Julio M

Short pooper
Alejandro (Ben Barnes) and Missy (Amanda Seyfried) get married. Don (Robert De Niro) and Bebe (Susan Sarandon) reconcile and also get married. Lyla (Katherine Heigl) becomes pregnant, reconciles with her husband Andrew (Kyle Bornheimer) and ends up having a girl. Oh, and Madonna (Patricia Rae), Alejandro’s birth mother, and her Catholic piousness and zealotry? All one big act, “to protect him”!! But they make amends.

Longer version
The actual day of the wedding, which appears quite threatened from all the over-the-top, immature shenanigans the group has incurred in, Don confesses to Bebe having slept with Ellie (Diane Keaton), for which she punches him in the face but also forgives him since Ellie herself had cheated on Don with Missy’s dad, Barry (David Rasche). Muffin (Christine Ebersole), Missy’s wacky mom, reveals her knowledge of this affair and also that she is bisexual and wants to get tangled both with Bebe and Ellie, which shocks both women.

Fed up with all the insanity, Alejandro and Missy ask Father Moinighan (Robin Williams) to marry them by the property dock. Of course, everyone realizes it, runs after them and more madness ensues, with many of them falling into the lake; but the ceremony and reception still happen. As this happens, Jared (Topher Grace) reaches out to Nuria (Ana Ayora) and they discuss the whole thing of “sexual unavailability” previously suggested by Ellie, in an obvious attempt to prevent them from getting too close, ending up in bed together.

At the reception, more making up happens. Ellie and Bebe forgive each other over the cheating episodes. Don decides to propose to Bebe at that same moment and they get married. Also, Andrew, whom Lyla was estranged from, pops up at the event and reconciles with Lyla, especially after learning of her pregnancy. And, as if none of this were enough, Madonna is revealed to have had Alejandro out of wedlock and actually have a pretty liberal past, opposite to the “Conservative, zealot Catholic” persona she had been showing everyone, all along; she berates Alejandro for being so naive and tells him that “she just did it with the best intention of protecting him”, which leaves him somewhat dumbfounded, although they still make amends and reaffirm their mother/son love.

Towards the end, we learn Lyla gave birth to a daughter whom she has named Jane and now has her own plaque with her name, added by Don to the Family Tree.

01 hours 29 minutes