The Long Weekend(2005)

SHORT VERSION:
Ed abandons Cooper after getting fed up with his disastrous attempts to get him laid, but on his way home, he reconnects with Ellen, a fellow tenant in his apartment building that he briefly met two days prior. They bond as he gives her the rundown on all of the unfortunate events he has experienced this weekend with Cooper and how he will likely be unemployed tomorrow because he was unable to work on his ad for Great Bridge Insurance, and he winds up falling asleep on her bed. They have sex the next morning, and through it, Ed is hit with an idea on what he can do for the ad.  

He returns to his and Cooper’s apartment, and Cooper complains about how he was worried about him and had spent all night trying to find him, but Ed tells him where he was, and Ellen quickly stops by to return a shirt he left behind as proof of this. Ed takes the new video camera Cooper got him for his birthday and heads out to try to record different things, but he soon returns home and tells Cooper that he doubts that he can get the footage he needs before his meeting with Lanson, the owner of Great Bridge, later on. Cooper takes him to their parents’ house and shows him that they kept all of the videotapes he tried to throw out back when he split with Cathy, and he creates an ad out of the numerous recorded accidents his loved ones have suffered. He then brings it to his meeting, and Lanson likes it, which saves his agency’s account with the company.

Ed gets a promotion, rekindles his love of recording videos, and enters into a relationship with Ellen. Cooper decides to pursue more serious acting gigs and winds up winning the title role of a stage production of Hamlet.

LONG VERSION:
On the Saturday of the long weekend, Ed (Brendan Fehr) and Cooper (Chris Klein) find out at random that Ed’s ex-girlfriend Cathy (Nicole McKay) and his ex-friend Jack (Alejandro Rae) – whom Cathy cheated on Ed with – are now married, dashing any hopes Ed had that he and Cathy would reconcile. He then asks Cooper to help him get laid that night, believing that it will enable him to finally get over Cathy, and then he will spend all day tomorrow working on the Great Bridge Insurance ad for his agency.

After a few failed attempts, Ed meets a woman named Kim (Chandra West) at a bar, and after chatting for a while, she takes him back to her apartment to have sex with him. Before they can, he discovers that she is a prostitute when the cops suddenly break in and arrest them both. Ed is put in a holding cell with a bunch of other wrongdoers and he calls for Cooper to come get him, but since Ed earlier lost his ID card along with the rest of his wallet, he is unable to prove to the jailer that he is Ed after Cooper posts his bail. Instead, the jailer releases a drunk man wearing a shirt Ed discarded the night before that has his name on it, forcing Ed to stay in an overnight cell since Cooper can do nothing more for him until he has a talk with the station’s lieutenant in the morning.

After Cooper gets Ed released, they rest in a Turkish bathhouse, and Ed talks about his experience with Kim and how he never suspected her of being a prostitute because she never asked for any money up front. Cooper replies that she must have really liked him if she never demanded payment, but then he inadvertently reveals that he had paid Kim in advance, and after saying so, he tells Ed that he only did it to try to boost his self-esteem. Ed lashes out at him, saying that his attempts to help him get some action have now gotten him a criminal record and have likely now cost him his job. Cooper tells him that it is just a job, but Ed retorts that at least he had a job in his lifetime, because Cooper has accomplished nothing significant in his pursuit of an acting career. He then decides to go home and abandons Cooper at the bathhouse.

When Ed attempts to board a bus, he finds himself five cents short of the required fare and the driver is unwilling to cut him a break. This causes his frustrations over everything that has happened to him to finally boil over and he pitches a fit, then lays down in front of the bus to stop it from leaving. A cop comes to arrest him for disturbing the peace, but then Ellen (Cobie Smulders) – a beautiful woman he met two days ago in their apartment building’s elevator – approaches Ed and gives him the nickel he needs and assures the officer that she will escort him home. On the ride back, Ed gives Ellen the rundown on all of the unfortunate events that have befallen him since their initial meeting. He ends up getting invited into her apartment, where they proceed to bond further, and he falls asleep on her bed. Meanwhile, Cooper spends all night trying to find him without success, and he ultimately makes a prayer to God where, if Ed comes home safely, he will concentrate on obtaining serious acting jobs.

The next morning, Ed awakens and makes ready to return to his apartment, but Ellen offers him a chance to stay for a while longer. Knowing that this means an intimate encounter, Ed takes her up on it and they have sex. Suddenly, as he climaxes, he gets hit with a great idea for the ad he has to make and says he has to go, but before leaving, he tells Ellen that she is the best thing to have ever happened to him. He rushes home to get the new video camera Cooper got him for his birthday, and amidst Cooper’s complaints of how he spent all night trying to find him, he tells Cooper that he got some action, which Cooper gets confirmed as fact when Ellen briefly stops by to give Ed back a shirt that he left behind.

Ed gets the camera and goes out, but he returns a while later looking defeated and tells Cooper that he was crazy to think that he could film all the things in one day that took years to fill his archive, which he believes he threw out when he split from Cathy, and considers himself screwed since the meeting with Lanson (Jerry Wasserman), the boss of Great Bridge Insurance, is at 3:00 and he has nothing to present to him. Cooper then takes Ed to their parents’ house and shows him that they have kept all of his videotapes, so he and Ed return to their apartment with them and create the ad by editing together clips of different accidents his family members and others have suffered in the past. Ed brings the finished ad to the meeting with Lanson and plays it for him, and he likes it, saving the ad agency’s account with Great Bridge.

Cooper narrates that Ed – as promised for saving the account – was rewarded with his superior’s corner office, and he also received a promotion to advertising executive, plus business is booming for the agency again. He also saved his rival Roger (Paul Campbell) from being fired by keeping him around as his assistant. He and Ellen became a couple and moved in together, and Cooper says that he heard that Cathy is now obese and Jack caught a disease that made his testicles swell to the size of cantaloupes. Cooper also kept his promise to God, and his first serious acting audition landed him the titular role of a stage production of Hamlet. Ed and Ellen watch him perform to a great ovation one night, and as Cooper and his castmates soak in the applause, he takes the opportunity to grope the butt of one of the willing actresses, which Ed records on his camcorder.