National Lampoon’s DORM DAZE(2003)
Submitted by Tornado Dragon
The movie centers around three major plot points:
- 1) Two women named Dominique. One is a French exchange student (Marie Noelle Marquis), and the other is a hooker (Boti Bliss) that Styles (Patrick Renna) hired for his brother, Booker (Chris Owen), to lose his virginity to. However, Booker is not interested in going through this arrangement, instead wanting to mutually lose his virginity with his girlfriend, Rachel (Gable Carr).
- A handbag containing $30,000 that a criminal, Lorenzo the Black Hand (Courtney Gains), is planning on giving to another criminal, Britney the Snake, who is evidently supposed to be at the dormitory to claim it. However, it initially ends up in possession of Gerri (Marieh Delfino), one of the dormitory’s residents, and the handbag eventually gets mixed up with a lost handbag that belongs to Claire (Tatyana Ali) and is identical in appearance.
- The interactions between Adrienne (Cameron Richardson) and Newmar (Tony Denman). Adrienne has become a target of the dorky Newmar’s affections because she had a drunken fling with him the night before, which is something that she has since come to regret. Also, she is attracted to Foosball (Randy Spelling) but doesn’t know that he is actually gay.
Over the next several hours, a huge number of mishaps, misunderstandings, lies, and cases of mistaken identity take place that involve the above-mentioned characters as well as several others in the dorm, and most of them come to know about the handbag full of money. Also, Adrienne initially rejects Newmar’s advances and later – through a series of misunderstandings (chiefly a love poem he wrote that she believed he wrote for Foosball but had actually written for her) – mistakes him for being gay. She does find out that Foosball is gay, though, ending her crush on him.
After being subjected to several various attacks due to being mistaken for the hooker, Dominique, the Student, calls the police and tells them to come to the dorm, claiming that she is the victim of a hostage situation. Dominique the Hooker manages to get a hold of the handbag full of money, and she puts most of the cash into her own purse before tossing it out a bathroom window into some bushes below, intending to collect it once she gets outside. She keeps a very small portion of the money in the handbag in order to trick Tony (Edwin Hodge) and Cliff (James DeBello), whom she separately and privately manipulated into helping her get her hands on the cash after she first learned about it. Shortly after Tony and Cliff have a chat and figure out that Dominique the Hooker used them both, they confront her in the lobby and take the handbag, but she soon manages to escape their grasp and get out the door. They then fight for possession of the handbag until they rip it up, which occurs just as Claire appears before them, and she gets very upset with them for destroying “her” handbag. After noticing that there are only a few banknotes in it, the guys go after Dominique the Hooker, but her bodyguard, Ted (Gregory Hinton), keeps the duo from getting to her. Tony and Cliff then start to brawl over the few bills they have.
However, Dominique the Hooker’s plan is ruined when the returning dorm guide, Wang (Paul Hansen Kim), finds and takes the purse before she can get to it and goes into the building through a side entrance. He soon hands the purse over to Newmar after he mentions to him that Adrienne is trying to locate Claire’s handbag, thinking that this purse is the handbag in question (but thanks to Adrienne earlier taking his glasses from him, Newmar is unable to see that this purse is not what Adrienne is looking for). After she fails to find her purse, Dominique the Hooker tells Ted that they must go back into the dorm so she can get it, and they pass by Tony and Cliff, who stop brawling and go after them after Cliff remarks that the money must still be in the dorm if she is going back inside. Meanwhile, Lorenzo tells Gerri – whom he believes is Britney the Snake – that he thinks that they are being set up, and after ordering her to pack some things so they can make a getaway, he pulls out a handgun.
The police then arrive outside the entrance, and they are let in by the returning resident advisor, Brady (Josh Miller), after they state their business there. Foosball is seen smoking in the lobby, but when he sees Brady coming, he flings his cigarette away so Brady won’t catch him in the act and penalize him for it. However, he fails to notice that the cigarette has landed in the Christmas tree behind him. The gossip queens Lynne (Jennifer Lyons) and Marla (Danielle Fishel) then appear with the crestfallen Claire, and they tell the cops that there is a prostitute in the dorm just as Dominique the Hooker walks back in and Dominique the Student appears. Dominique the Student is mistaken for the hooker and cuffed while Wang tries to escort Dominique the Hooker away, and Ted decides to flee to avoid being possibly arrested. After Brady remarks that he smells smoke, Lynne and Marla tell him right in front of the cops that Foosball was smoking and had bought the Christmas tree, prompting Foosball to tell Brady and the officers that both girls have an eight-ball of cocaine in their room. Lynne tries to sell Marla out after this, sparking a slapfight between them that ends when the cops separate them, and the exasperated Dominique the Student shows off her passport to everyone as proof that she is the student that Wang is supposed to meet. Dominique the Hooker tries to escape, but Tony and Cliff appear, grab her, and drag her back in. Lorenzo and Gerri then show up running towards the door, but they get stopped by the police. Lorenzo throws a smoke bomb in an attempt to disorient the officers so he can get away, but Gerri hits him on the head to stun him and then binds his hands. Lorenzo tries to tell the cops that Gerri is Britney the Snake, but Tony, Brady, and Wang verify that she is Gerri, and then one of the cops says that she has seen what Britney looks like and knows that Gerri is not her. The police officers put the cuffs on Dominique the Hooker, Lorenzo, Lynne, and Marla, and after the tree catches fire from the cigarette and gets extinguished, another one of the officers orders all who aren’t arrested to go back to their rooms. After the cops leave, Claire accepts that Tony was faithful to her all along despite a bunch of earlier misunderstandings making him look like he wasn’t, plus she forgives him for tearing apart “her” handbag. They kiss and then mutually agree to go look for the cash.
Adrienne locates Newmar, and he presents her with the hooker’s purse, but she informs him that it isn’t Claire’s handbag. After she finally gives him his glasses back, he makes it clear to her that he is not gay and that the love poem he wrote was meant for her, and she is visibly touched by this because she read the poem herself and had told him she loved it. Newmar then checks the purse and finds the $30,000 in it, and he shows this to Adrienne. They are next shown leaving the dorm together, having decided to become a couple, and they also decide that, after giving some of the money to Gerri so she can pay her tuition, they will go to Las Vegas and enjoy the Christmas break together there with the rest of it. They then share a kiss.
In the middle of all of the commotion, Booker defies Styles and loses his virginity with Rachel in her room. Styles ends up getting handcuffed to a chair in his and Booker’s room by Dominique the Hooker over the bag of money, and moments later, he gets thrashed by Dominique the Student (just before she called the cops) because he earlier attempted to force himself onto her when he mistook her for the prostitute. After the cops have left the dormitory, Booker returns to his and Styles’ room and sees what has become of Styles, and Styles apologizes to him for how he acted towards him. He then confesses that he is actually a virgin himself; he talks big because he can’t find a girlfriend, and he really hired Dominique the Hooker for himself but was too embarrassed to admit it. He then tells Booker that he realizes now that it is okay to be a virgin like him, but Booker informs him that he just had sex with Rachel and only came back here to get some Gatorade for them before they have some more sex. He then returns to Rachel’s room with the beverages, opting to leave Styles restrained overnight as punishment for his actions.
Wang takes Dominique the Student to his room, but Dominique soon tells him that she needs to use the bathroom. After Wang shows her where the hall bathroom is, Booker comes up to him and gives him his phone back (he earlier came into possession of it by mistake during all of the chaos in the dorm), informing him that campus security is on the other end. Wang speaks to the security guard and learns that he has a woman down at the dorm’s entrance with him who is the real Dominique the Student; she was mugged while she was on her way to see Wang, and she was robbed of everything, including her passport. She then turns to face the camera, and we see that this Dominique is identical in appearance to the other Dominique. Wang goes looking for the first Dominique, but he discovers that she has vanished.
We then see the first Dominique walking away from the dormitory and talking to a guy on her cell phone in an American accent, and she tells the guy that Lorenzo had double-crossed her. She explains that she had followed him and Gerri to the dorm (she had watched them meeting earlier on over the bag of money through a set of binoculars, but it was not shown that she was the one using them), but thankfully, no one was able to identify her because she found Dominique and used her as a cover. When the guy asks if she got the money, she replies that she had it, but lost it, and he stresses to her that they need to find it. When he asks her how she lost the money, she first removes what turns out to be a mask and reveals herself to be Britney the Snake (Lindsey Talbott), and then she answers that it is a long story and that she will tell him all about it when they meet up later. After she hangs up, she notices Adrienne and Newmar walking past her and sees the money protruding out of Adrienne’s purse, and she looks at the camera and smiles before going after the duo.