National Lampoon’s GOLF PUNKS(1998)

Submitted by Tornado Dragon

SHORT VERSION:
Al and his Vista Creek team beat Trip Davis and his Golden Ridge team in the Seattle Junior Cup finals, and Peter uses his knowledge of the stock market to provide a good stock tip for Benny the Bookie in exchange for him cancelling Al’s gambling debts to him. Days later, Peter and the other kids manage to get Al into the same pro golf tour qualifying tournament that he lost years earlier, and Al decides to participate in it and ultimately wins it, finally entering the world of professional golf.

LONG VERSION:
One day, after Al (Tom Arnold) shows his Vista Creek team how good his golf swing is, Billy (Rhys Huber) asks him if he had indeed lost that PGA U.S. Pro Golf Tour qualifying tournament nineteen years ago, and he says that Christina (Katelyn Wallace) had told him about it. Al gets upset at all of the kids for knowing about this, but Peter (James Kirk) tells him that he was the one who first found out about it when he had earlier looked up information on him at the library strictly out of curiosity. Al explodes at him and then walks away.

The next day, Al learns from Christina that Peter decided to quit the team in light of his outburst, so Al goes over to his house to talk to him. They apologize to each other for their actions, and Al tells Peter that coaching him and the other kids has rekindled his urge to play again. They then play a game together, and Al reveals to him that he gave up on golf after that fateful tournament because it all started with something his rival Trip Davis (Jano Frandsen) did during it: On one hole, Al spotted Trip slyly kicking his ball out of an unfavorable spot. He told the officials about it, but since he had no way of proving it, his complaint was ignored. This all subsequently messed with his concentration and caused him to lose his lead to Trip and then the whole tournament, and that in turned ruined his ability to play. Peter later suggests that he try out for the pro tour again someday, and he rejoins the team.

The Vista Creek team win the next two games to make it to the Seattle Junior Cup finals against the Golden Ridge team, whom Trip coaches and Peter’s enemy Cameron (Cory Fry) plays for. Peter also helps Al out of his gambling debt with Benny the Bookie by providing Benny with a good stock market tip in exchange for him cancelling the debt. Benny’s goons Joe (Jerry Wasserman) and Tiny (Dave Ward) tell Al about this just before game time and also provide him with a few gifts from Benny.

The game gets underway, and the Vista Creek team performs very well. However, on the seventeenth hole, Cameron pulls the same dirty trick that Trip once did, believing that no one was watching. Peter sees him do it and takes it up with the official, and when the official asks for proof, Al notices a spectator’s video camera and takes it and rewinds the footage to see if it caught Cameron in the act. The footage shows that it has, so the official disqualifies Cameron and drops his scores from the roster. Cameron and his teammates then approach Peter, and Cameron warns him that he will harm him if his team wins, but Joe and Tiny – who also received some good stock tips from Peter – come to his defense and escort Cameron and company away. On the eighteenth hole, Peter scores a birdie to win the championship for Vista Creek.

Some days later, the kids visit Al at his job and tell him that, thanks to Joe and Tiny cutting Peter in for a percentage of their mutual funds and together re-investing it in him, they have entered him into the pro golf tour qualifying tournament. Al decides to participate in it, and he goes on to win it and finally join the world of professional golf.