Laid in America(2016)

Submitted by Tornado Dragon

SHORT VERSION:
At Tucker’s party, Jack has sex with his crush, Kaylee, and Duncan has sex with Tucker’s sister, Scarlett, a sex educator that he had an online session with earlier in the film (though he climaxed after just nine seconds of action). The next morning, they head to the airport together to get their flights back to their respective home countries, and Jack mentions to Duncan that Kaylee will be visiting him in South Africa this summer while Duncan informs him that Scarlett will be giving him free sex lessons when he returns to England. Duncan then tells Jack to let him know where he will be attending college, and Jack replies that he is thinking about studying abroad, which Duncan likes the idea of, implying that they will both be returning to America.

LONG VERSION:
In an effort to get the two hot women they need to gain entry into Tucker’s (Josh Leyva) party that night, Duncan (Olajide “KSI” Olatunji) and Jack (Caspar Lee) decide to put up a fake double date profile on Blindr, a blind dating app recommended to them by Duncan’s brother. Also, in order to ensure that they attract the hottest women possible, they put on their profile that they each make over $500,000 a year. They quickly score a match in Amber and Violet, and the ladies send a message to them asking them if they can meet them for dinner tonight. After the ladies send the guys a hot picture of themselves to entice them into accepting, Duncan and Jack decide to accept their invitation and send a message back telling them as much, and both sides agree to meet up at Michael J’s Diner in half-an-hour. Sometime after the guys arrive there, Amber (Angela Trimbur) shows up alone, and she claims to the guys that Violet is running a bit late. After they all converse for a bit, Amber goes to the bar to buy drinks for them all, but she reveals that she has ulterior motives for going on this date with Duncan and Jack when she drugs their drinks when they aren’t looking. The duo drink their beverages and pass out, and afterwards (off-screen), Amber and her dimwitted wannabe gangster boyfriend, Goose (Bobby Lee), kidnap them and take them to Goose’s mother’s house, then tie them up to chairs in the garage. We eventually find out that Goose had Amber put up her own fake double date profile on Blindr in order to find and lure in some wealthy men for them to kidnap, then force said wealthy men to fork over some money to them so Goose can fund the creation of a ridiculous app that he wants to make. After Duncan and Jack wake up and discover the situation they’re now in, Goose brings up to them that Amber told him that they were rich, and though they confess that they are really unemployed high school students and lied about being rich in order to impress Amber and “Violet,” Goose and Amber don’t believe them. Goose’s mother then enters the garage to get Goose and Amber into the house for dinner, and after she mistakes Duncan and Jack for being friends of her son, they end up getting invited in for dinner as well.

While they all sit at the dinner table, Goose keeps Duncan’s and Jack’s phones near him, but he gets annoyed when Jack receives repeated texts from his crush, Kaylee (Madison Iseman), about Tucker’s party, since he promised to meet her there. When she tries to call him, Goose decides to antagonize Jack by answering it and speaking to Kaylee in a bad British accent (even though Jack is South African), and he eventually hits her with a heavy insult before hanging up on her. He then forces Duncan to come with him in his car to a nearby marijuana store, then takes him to the ATM in there in order to make him withdraw $15,000 from his bank account and give it to him. However, the pressure of the situation causes Duncan to have trouble remembering his PIN number, and when he finally does enter it in, Goose discovers that the machine has a $500 withdrawal limit. During all of this, an impatient man waiting behind them insults them repeatedly for their apparent lack of understanding of how to use the ATM, and this eventually causes Goose to lose his temper and start goading the man into a fight. However, the guy knocks Goose out with the first punch thrown, and after the guy leaves, Duncan decides to take Goose’s car and drive back to the house to rescue Jack. But, before he goes, he takes Goose’s treasured gold wristwatch just to spite him.

Meanwhile, Jack is tied back up in the garage and left to be watched by Amber, and she tells him that she and Goose intend to let him and Duncan go after they get the money they need. Jack starts up a conversation with her, and after he finally manages to convince her that he and Duncan lied about being wealthy, he brings up how now, thanks to Goose, he has likely lost Kaylee for good. He then tells Amber all about how much he likes Kaylee, and Amber tells him about how Goose used to be a good boyfriend, but now, all he thinks about is himself. Jack replies that she can do better than him, and touched by his words, she promises him that she will get his phone back from Goose when he returns, call Kaylee, and undo the damage that Goose caused. However, Duncan suddenly appears and knocks her unconscious by hitting her in the back of the head with a shovel, and though Jack tries to tell Duncan that Amber was going to fix his problem with Kaylee and let them both go, Duncan frees him and tells him that they need to leave now because he stole Goose’s car. As they drive off, they realize that they accidentally left their phones behind, and after Jack sums up to Duncan that they now have no phones, no girls, and no way of getting into Tucker’s party, he gets nauseous and forces Duncan to pull over so he can puke.

As Duncan waits for Jack to finish, a creepy old guy comes into the car thinking that Duncan is an Uber driver that he called for. Jack returns moments later, and though neither he nor Duncan care for the old guy’s presence or want to take him anywhere, he grabs Duncan’s attention when he says that he is going to a party. After asking and getting confirmation from the old man that girls will be at this party, Duncan decides – over Jack’s objections – to take the old man there, thinking that this will give him and Jack another opportunity to get the two women they need. The duo end up at a brothel with a Venetian masquerade theme, and they are both stripped down to their boxers and socks and made to wear capes and masks before being set up with prostitutes in separate rooms. However, Duncan’s prostitute, Leslie (Whitney Rice), is a cocaine addict, and Jack’s turns out to be the wife of their school’s principal, Raheem (Gerry Bednob), when Raheem himself enters the room in a frog costume and tries to initiate a threesome. Horrified, Jack runs out of the room, and he barges into Duncan’s room just as he and Leslie are about to start having some fun and yells that they have to get out of here now. As Duncan berates him for his intrusion, Leslie snorts some more cocaine, but she proves to have snorted too much of it when she suddenly overdoses and drops dead. The police then show up to shut the brothel down, and Duncan tells Jack that they need to leave this place, worrying that the police will think that they killed Leslie. However, they find out that the cops have blocked in Goose’s car, and they end up having to affect an escape on Leslie’s Segway.

As they roll along, Jack eventually tells Duncan that he wants to go to Tucker’s party alone, triggering a big argument between them that sees Duncan chastise Jack for trying to meet up with a girl who barely knows his name and Jack chastising him in return for getting them into all of the bad situations they wound up in this evening. They then renounce their friendship and head to the party separately, with Duncan taking the Segway. Meanwhile, Goose returns to his mother’s house to find Amber icing her head, and she tells him about what happened to her and that she has no idea where Duncan and Jack are now. Goose then shows that he is more concerned about getting revenge on the duo and reclaiming his belongings than Amber’s well-being, and after he hears Jack’s phone go off, he remembers the party that the duo are going to. After getting the address to Tucker’s house off the phone, Goose tells his mother that he needs her to drive him and Amber over there now, but Amber – having finally had enough of Goose – angrily tells him that he will be going there alone, then declares their relationship finished and storms out of the house.

Duncan arrives at Tucker’s house first, but he is denied entry by Tucker and his friend, Topher (Jorge Munoz), because he doesn’t have the two women that he promised to bring. However, he manages to buy his way in – and get some proper clothes to wear – by giving Goose’s watch to Topher. Jack arrives shortly afterwards, but after he witnesses Topher physically eject two guys from the house on the grounds that there are more guys than girls there, he decides to sneak in through an upstairs window he sees, which turns out to be the window for Tucker’s bedroom. Unfortunately, after Jack climbs up to it, he falls inside and accidentally lands on and kills Tucker’s beloved cat, Mr. Pickles (whom the party is for, since the cat’s YouTube channel has recently reached 10 million subscribers). He then hides in the closet when Tucker and Topher come in to collect Mr. Pickles to show him off to the partygoers, and after Tucker finds the cat dead, he and Topher vow to find his “murderer” and make him pay. Sometime after they leave, Jack puts on some of Tucker’s clothes and heads downstairs to the party. He finds and approaches Kaylee, who greets him coldly, and though he explains to her that he was kidnapped and that his kidnapper was the one who insulted her, she finds his explanation absurd and accuses him of lying to her before spurning him and walking off.

Tucker then gets on the microphone and sings a rap song in honor of Mr. Pickles (which contains some lyrics that he stole from a song that Duncan did in their music class), and Jack talks to Kaylee again and tries to tell her how he feels about her, but she still wants nothing to do with him. Tucker then spots Jack with Kaylee, so he marches over to them and shoves Jack down before telling him that no one touches Kaylee except him. Irritated, Kaylee tells Tucker that she can handle this matter herself and that he has no right to get involved in this on account of the fact that they broke up, but he tells her to shut up. Jack gets back to his feet and comes to Kaylee’s defense, chiding Tucker for treating her poorly back when they used to date and telling him that she deserves someone better, like him. Just then, Topher – who has been spending the last little while checking over the footage from all of the house’s security cameras in an effort to find Mr. Pickles’ “murderer” – gets Tucker’s attention and tells him that he found out that Jack was the one who killed Mr. Pickles, then shows Tucker a clip of the cat’s accidental death on his laptop. Tucker tells Jack that he is going to kick his butt for this, but before he can, Goose announces his presence by firing two shots from his handgun into the ceiling. He soon points his gun at Jack and demands to know where his car is, and after Jack tells him where it is, he orders him to give him back the keys for it as well as his watch, but Jack replies that he doesn’t have either of those things. Tucker then steps in and orders Goose to leave for barging into his house uninvited, prompting Goose to turn his gun towards him and then threaten to beat him up. However, Tucker is not the least bit intimidated, and he knocks Goose out with ease. Tucker then turns his attention back to Jack, but Duncan saves Jack by taking Mr. Pickles’ YouTube award and smashing it on the back of Tucker’s head, rendering him unconscious. When the surprised Kaylee asks Jack who Goose is, he replies that he is the one who kidnapped him and Duncan, and after getting confirmation from Duncan that this is the truth, she apologizes to Jack for not believing him. Duncan and Jack then patch up their differences and share a hug.

Kaylee takes Jack back up to Tucker’s bedroom, which is decorated with a romantic theme that Tucker put together because he illogically thought that he and Kaylee would reconcile tonight, and Jack loses his virginity to her. Meanwhile, as Duncan is once again getting propositioned sexually by Tabitha (Heather Cowles), a homely girl who has a huge unrequited crush on him, he notices Scarlett (Syd Wilder) – a sex educator that he had an online session with earlier that day – standing nearby. Before going over to talk to her, he introduces Tabitha to Digby (Tay Zonday), a new friend he made at the party. After Duncan exchanges greetings with Scarlett, he finds out from her that she is here because she is Tucker’s sister, but she tells him that she doesn’t mind what he just did to Tucker because she considers him to be a total jerk and felt that he deserved that. She then apologizes for cutting their session short, explaining that she did so because she strangely found herself getting turned on by what he was doing to the sex doll that he was using. She then asks him if he would like to finish up the lesson in her room, and he happily accepts. As he goes upstairs with her, he sees Tabitha and Digby making out, much to his disgust. Duncan loses his virginity to Scarlett, but – as shown in the closing credits – he climaxed after just nine seconds of action.

Duncan and Jack return to their host family’s house in the morning in high spirits, and they quickly pack up their stuff and head to the airport because their flights back to their home countries leave in two hours. Outside the terminal, Jack and Duncan hug each other goodbye, and Duncan gives Jack his phone back, having gotten it (and his own) off of Goose after Tucker knocked him out. Jack mentions that Kaylee will be visiting him in South Africa this summer, and Duncan informs him that Scarlett will be giving him free sex lessons when he gets back to England. Duncan then tells Jack to let him know where he will be attending college, and Jack replies that he is thinking about studying abroad, which Duncan likes the idea of, implying that they will both be returning to America.