Submitted by Tornado Dragon

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While they go out together, Dylan (David Spade) encourages Lila (Sophie Marceau) to attempt to join the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Jack, her dog, takes Dylan’s friend Mark’s (Mitchell Whitfield) anniversary ring for his wife Gail (Michelle Clunie) and hides it, but he returns it when Dylan treats him well, only for Dylan to find that the diamond in it is missing. After Dylan accidentally chases Jack out of his apartment over the loss of the diamond, Lila comes by to tell him that she was going to attend a birthday function with Rene (Patrick Bruel), since the director of the L.A. Philharmonic was going to attend and she was going to ask him personally for an audition. Dylan tells her his restaurant was going to be catering that function, and he hoped that Millstone (Martin Sheen), a banker who was holding the function for his wife’s birthday, would give him a loan to finance the construction of a new wing for his restaurant.

Jack ends up with a blind woman down by the pier, and as he is sitting with her, a passerby notices Jack and calls Lila’s house to say that the dog has been found. Rene, there to pick up Lila, answers the phone and tells the guy he will drop by to get the dog. Rene claims Jack, arrives at the function, and then attempts to expose Dylan for his kidnapping of Jack by placing him in his car. At the function, Dylan gives Lila an audition tape for her to give to the director, and Wally (Artie Lange) drops off a new ring he purchased for Mark (where he learns that the original diamond was fake and was going to be replaced later with a real diamond). As Wally is about to leave, he notices Jack in Dylan’s car.

As Dylan tries to solicit Millstone for the loan again, he learns from him that Neil Diamond, who was supposed to sing for his wife, was not going to be able to make it and that he didn’t want to talk about the loan any further. To impress Millstone, Dylan starts to perform a Neil Diamond lip-synch, but after Rene sabotages the track Dylan rebounds and sings the remainder of the song live with help from the back-up band. An impressed Millstone grants Dylan the loan. Wally shows up with Jack, and while Dylan, Rene, Wally, Gail & Mark are arguing amongst each other over Dylan stealing Jack, Lila overhears them, and after Dylan turns and sees her she takes Jack and leaves. Rene commends Dylan for giving him the opening to win her back.

Dylan tries to tell Lila he’s sorry multiple times, and Rene calls her saying he got tickets for a flight back home to Paris. Some time later, Dylan notices Lila’s furniture being moved out of her apartment, so he goes over to try and stop her from leaving. The head mover (Danny Woodburn) tells him she isn’t there, and refuses to give him the address to where her stuff was being taken to, despite him giving a short speech saying that she was THE girl for him and he wrecked it. Defeated, Dylan leaves. The mover goes back into the apartment, where Lila is shown to be still there, and he tells her that Dylan sounded sincere.

Dylan’s new wing of his restaurant is shown up and running, and as he notices Wally about to depart to deliver some food, he tells him he’ll do the delivery and for him to cover for him. Dylan is next shown sitting at the Hollywood Bowl, reading a newspaper saying Lila got into the L.A. Philharmonic. He hears Jack bark and notices him on the stage, and when he goes up to get him, Lila shows up where he was sitting. The two reconcile, and they kiss and leave together with Jack.

Rene is shown on a plane awaiting take-off when he gets up to go to the bathroom. He cuts in front of a kid to use it, which turns out to be the same kid that threatened Dylan, back when he was shopping in a pet store, with telling his mother he committed an act of pedophilia on him. When Rene exits, he finds the kid awaiting him with some cops, and the kid uses his pedophilia shtick on him.