(2006)

Submitted by Tornado Dragon

Fed up with Clint’s (Kurt Finney) frequent teasing of him and angry over how Chaz (Chris Teregis) and Lewis (Adam Young) told him that Clint had sex with Natalie (Angela Trimbur) (which was a lie they told him just to mess with his head because they knew that he has a crush on her), Kevin (Brett Lawrence) sets Clint up to have a surprise phone conversation with his overbearing, cold-hearted mother. Afterwards, he reveals to Clint that he has been regularly calling his mother over the last year and reporting every blunder that he has made at the Burger Shack to her, and he did this to punish him for all of his perceived mistreatment towards him, as well as for sleeping with Natalie despite knowing how he felt about her. He tells Clint that he hates him and that what he did to him is proof of why nobody screws with him, but Clint fires back by pointing out to Kevin that EVERYBODY screws with him because he lets them walk all over him, and even though he did tease him, he never took advantage of his weak nature like others have, and if he had a problem with him, he should’ve just talked to him about it instead of going and constantly snitching on him to his mother. He then orders Kevin to get out of his restaurant, and Kevin tells him that he and his restaurant can burn in Hell before storming off to his locker to clear it out.

Natalie appears during the tail-end of the argument, and unaware of what it was about, she quickly comes to think that Clint said something hurtful to Kevin. She proceeds to chew him out for how he has treated Kevin and tells him that she clearly doesn’t know him at all. She then speaks to Kevin and tries to convince him to stay and to not let Clint’s actions get to him, but he tells her that he knew that she would take Clint’s side because she has been all over him since the day she got hired, plus who would expect her to notice him (Kevin). She tells him that she simply doesn’t want him to throw his job away, and he replies that she clearly doesn’t have a clue (about his attraction to her) at all. During this, he drops his sketchbook, and she soon takes a look at it and discovers that he has drawn some creepy sexual pictures of her as well as disturbing pictures of him wishing death on Clint and even killing him. Shocked, she tells Kevin that she doesn’t think she knows him anymore, and Kevin calls her Clint’s “bitch” before heading for the front door. Clint then approaches her to say something to her, but as he starts, she abruptly declares that she is quitting. He then decides to express his feelings like she has been wanting him to do, telling her that she gives him confidence that he never knew he had, and he has overwhelming feelings for her and doesn’t know how to handle that, but that’s what he likes about it, and he is ready to be himself for once instead of a cocky jerk. He then adds that she has broken down the walls that he always puts up around others, and he is sorry for how he has treated her because he knows that she has never done anything to hurt him, and he lastly says that he ready to have a heartfelt talk with her now. However, she doesn’t give much of a response to any of this other than emptying out her locker and telling him that she has to go, after which she heads for the front door herself.

When Clint follows her out into the dining area, he finds her being held up at gunpoint by two customers, Lando (Jason Russo) and Mace (Christopher DeMaci), who are aiming to rob the Burger Shack. Moments later, an unnamed trucker (Christopher Stone) takes out a handgun of his own while his pet monkey, Tommy, grabs a knife, and they come to Clint’s and Natalie’s defense and face off with the crooks. Natalie and Clint see Kevin hiding near the front door, and though Natalie silently asks him to do something to help them out, he just gives them both the finger and escapes. Thankfully, Chaz and Lewis emerge from the bathroom, and after seeing what is going on, they decide to come to everyone’s aid. While the crooks are still distracted with the trucker and Tommy, Lewis grabs his glass of pink lemonade off the table, gets their attention, and throws the drink in their eyes. The stinging sensation blinds them both and sends them to the floor in pain, which gives the trucker the chance to kick their guns away from them. Chaz then accidentally burns his hand on the coffee burner while expressing his relief over how they stopped the criminals. Clint hugs Natalie, and after he tells her to go into his office to take a breather and wait for him, he kisses her. While tending to Chaz, Clint notices that the other friend of the would-be robbers, Cracker (Ausby Larkin), is not with them.

Natalie goes into the office and lays down on the sofa to rest, unaware that Cracker is already in there attempting to break into the safe. Upon seeing her, Cracker opts to forget about his task and try to have his way with her, but she catches him before he can do anything and screams. Clint then bursts in and dazes Cracker with a single punch, then throws him out to his cook, Julio (Carlos Joseph), so he can restrain him. Natalie expresses her pride in him for his heroic act, and after she apologizes to him for earlier tonight, they share a hug. He then tells her to stay here and relax and that they will talk whenever she is ready, after which he goes back out into the restaurant.

Clint calms things down in the diner while Julio calls the police to come and get the criminals, and he also calls the paramedics so they can tend to Chaz. As Chaz is sitting in an ambulance with Lewis with his hand dressed, Clint comes by and tells Lewis that things will work out between him and his girlfriend, Erica, whether they get back together or not (although the latter scenario is more likely because she has been cheating on him and he doesn’t know about it yet), and he tells him to not change for a girl and just stay himself because the right one will come along eventually and she will like and understand him and everything about him. After seeing Chaz and Lewis off, Clint hears the trucker crying in anguish in the diner, so he hurries back inside and discovers that Tommy has just died from drinking the pink lemonade (which is contaminated with Clint’s own semen as a sick joke). The trucker punches him in the face before taking his dead monkey and hurrying out. Clint then sends everybody home for the night while he stays behind to do some extra cleaning in preparation for the health inspector’s visit tomorrow.

Once he has finished, Clint goes out back to smoke a cigarette and finds his car covered in toilet paper. After he puts all of the paper into the dumpster, his marijuana-addicted underling, Randy (Andy Bray), emerges from a pile of trash bags in front of the dumpster (a mysterious person knocked him out seven hours earlier by shooting him in the neck with a tranquilizer dart that was meant for Tommy, and he buried himself under the garbage when he collapsed to the ground), and after Randy mumbles the word “drugs” more than once and Clint mistakes the dart in his neck for a drug syringe, Clint fires him. The health inspector (Mark Chaet) – who really has it in for Clint because of a prior problem – then suddenly shows up, and after he gives Clint a big deduction for drug use on the premises, he promises him that he will give him hell when he conducts his full inspection tomorrow. Clint insults him and lights his cigarette, but the inspector quickly takes it from him and flings it into the dumpster before returning the insult. However, Clint soon points out to the inspector that what he just did has set the dumpster on fire, and the flames ends up engulfing and destroying the Burger Shack. The firefighters and the police are summoned back, and though Clint initially cannot prove to the fire inspector (Gary Finney) that the health inspector caused the fire, Randy appears and says that he can verify Clint’s accusation.

Clint then narrates what became of him and the other key characters:
Randy told the cops what the health inspector had done, and the health inspector was arrested and taken away. Randy stopped smoking marijuana, and when Clint eventually opened up his new Mexican restaurant, “Casa de Clint” (which was something he dreamed of doing), he went to work for him, along with the rest of the staff of the Burger Shack. However, Clint fired him again after he found out that his favorite movie was the Britney Spears film Crossroads, which he considered inexcusable.
Clint has gone steady with Natalie, and they are expecting their first child soon.
Kevin continues to draw dirty pictures, but he now does them for the world’s largest creator of family films (clearly implied to be the Walt Disney Company), and he is responsible for all the hidden sexual references that we see in the films.
Chaz and Lewis decided to change Hollywood from within using blind fury and violence, and they are last seen finding and attacking Joel Schumacher (obviously not the real one) because they feel that his films are of poor quality.

01 hours 40 minutes