(1994)

Submitted by Tornado Dragon

POOPER:
Cmdt. Lassard’s officers figure out that Konali has a passkey installed into every copy of his highly addictive New Game, which would allow him to access and steal the files of anyone who played it on their computers, including classified information from world leaders. Though the officers foil his scheme, he eludes capture.

As Konali is in his restaurant office retrieving the master disk and passkey stored in the safe, Lassard – who was there dining with the family he had been hanging out with for almost the entire movie – wanders in while trying to find a bathroom. Konali initiates a swordfight with him, but he eventually knocks Konali senseless and arrests him.

Lassard and his men are publicly honored in Red Square by Cmdt. Rakov for their efforts, and Cadet Connors shows off a pair of plane tickets to his new love Katrina, showing that he has arranged her longed-for vacation, with him coming along.

LONG VERSION:
Cadet Connors (Charlie Schlatter) falls in love with Katrina (Claire Forlani), the team’s guide and translator, and she returns his love.

Connors, Katrina, and the rest of Cmdt. Lassard’s (George Gaynes) team eventually engage in undercover work on Konali (Ron Perlman) by having Capt. Callahan (Leslie Easterbrook) pose as a lounge singer at the casino where Konali hung out every night and having her seduce him, and Connors getting hired by him personally as a new mafia member. Connors and Callahan both find out about the New Game (the former from Konali’s hacker, Adam [Richard Israel]) and how Konali plans to achieve something big with it.

Adam completes the passkey-installed New Game, and Konali has his men create and send a few copies to certain important people, namely Cmdt. Rakov (Christopher Lee). Then, frustrated over how none of his henchmen have been able to assassinate Lassard or any members of his team, Konali decides to execute a set up on the team to embarrass them publicly, which would in turn embarrass the Moscow police and result in them getting kicked out of Russia. He proceeds to fake an illegal weapons deal at the Bolshoi Ballet, and the team takes the bait in a more than nutty fashion, during which Konali learns of Callahan’s real self. The shamed officers are brought before Rakov, who expresses his disgust for their actions, and they are then told by Lt. Talinsky (Gregg Berger) to leave Russia by 3:00 p.m. tomorrow or be arrested.

The next morning, as the officers are preparing to leave and Connors kisses Katrina goodbye, Callahan is suddenly seized by two of Konali’s men and taken away in their car. The team, Katrina, and the trio of acrobatic Russian cadets assigned to assist them chase after them in their own vehicle, and though they end up losing them, Sgt. Tackleberry (David Graf) succeeds in shooting a locator bullet – provided by Capt. Harris (G.W. Bailey) – onto the car so they can track it.

Callahan is taken to Konali’s dacha and tied up, and Konali tells her that she will pay for deceiving him by marrying him, but she makes it clear that she has no interest in being his wife. Mikhail (Valeri Yaremenko) then enters to report that the New Game is in the police station computer, and as Konali enters the secret code for the passkey, Callahan watches him type in five letters. He then leaves for his video game warehouse to oversee the first worldwide shipments of the New Game, telling her that he will give her time to reconsider his marriage proposal. Shortly after he departs, her kidnappers then appear and attempt to have their way sexually with her, but she gets herself free from her bonds and knocks them out.

Meanwhile, Harris and the others show up at the dacha, take out the guards, and then head inside and find Callahan. She tells them that Konali is gone and that he has a command that let him break into police headquarters through the computer system, and if he can get in, they’ll never be able to stop him. Connors points out how he learned that Adam was working on the New Game, so the passkey must be on it. After Callahan says they’ll be sending a shipment of the games out any minute from his warehouse, the team immediately head there. Along the way, Talinsky and his men spot them and chase after them.

The officers storm into the warehouse, and Harris arrests Konali. As Talinsky shows up, Connors and Katrina look at a copy of the New Game, and Katrina tells him that she played this game in Rakov’s office. When Talinsky demands for Harris to provide proof of Konali’s wrongdoing, Callahan points out the games, and then Connors has Katrina access the police computer on a nearby computer. When the passkey asks for the code, Callahan mentions that she saw Konali type five letters. Connors looks at Konali’s “Greed” tie clip and has Katrina enter that as the code, and it turns out to be correct. As Connors explains Konali’s whole scheme to Talinsky, Konali gets the better of Harris and escapes.  

Konali heads to his restaurant to retrieve the master disk and passkey stored in the safe in his office. As he is getting them out, Lassard – who was there dining with the family he had been hanging out with for almost the whole film – wanders in while trying to find a bathroom. The enraged Konali initiates a swordfight with him, but Lassard eventually knocks Konali senseless and arrests him.

In a public ceremony in Red Square, Rakov commends Lassard and his men for their efforts, and he awards Lassard a medal. As confetti is shot off, Connors shows off a pair of plane tickets to Katrina, showing that he has arranged her longed-for vacation, with him coming along.