(2000)

Submitted by Tornado Dragon

In one of his attempts to find out who his mystery girl is, Matt (Jonathan Tucker) takes out a personal ad in the college’s newspaper every week where he refers to himself as “Mystery Man” and talks about the “magical encounter” he had in the elevator with his mystery girl during the power outage. He then tells the girl that he must see her, so he will wait for her in the dark every Thursday night in the basement of Clark Hall (where the student dorms are located), and when she appears, they can renew their relationship in the darkness until both of them are ready to reveal their true identities to each other. After several Thursdays pass without her answering his ad, Matt’s mystery girl finally does appear before him in the basement (though the viewer only sees her shadow on the wall), but she tells Matt to stop trying to find her because she doesn’t want him to find her, and she adds that she doesn’t like him. She then leaves, and though he tries to catch up to her and find out who she is, he quickly loses her. Later on, when he talks about what happened with his friend, Wendy (Larisa Oleynik) (who has been helping him with his search), she tells him that maybe there is another reason why this girl doesn’t want him to find her. Sometime after that, Matt helps the dorm outcast Dora (Marissa Ribisi) – whom he has also befriended – feel better about herself by shooting a video of her that showcases the outer beauty that she truly possesses, and she loves the finished product.

Some nights later, Matt decides to go hang out with Patty (Emmanuelle Chriqui) (a girl that he has interacted with a few times during the movie, mostly to defend her from her odious on-off boyfriend, Crick [Johnny Green], and they had sex during one of their interactions) in her dorm room, but he goes there in his “Francesca” disguise, which Wendy helped to create for him so he could better infiltrate the women’s dormitory to find out who his mystery girl is. He asks Patty what she thinks about Matt, and she replies that he isn’t her type because he seems somewhat distracted to her. Just then, Crick enters the room and angrily confronts Patty over her aforementioned sexual episode with Matt, prompting Matt to come to her defense again (but without revealing his true identity), and Patty takes this opportunity to run away. Unable to recognize Matt, Crick starts to get sexually forceful with him, but when he moves in for a French kiss, Matt bites a large piece of his tongue off in desperation. He then leaves while Crick is dealing with the pain, and out of shame, he initially decides to not talk about the incident with anyone.

The next day, Matt enters his dorm room to find his roommate, Rod (James DeBello), masturbating to Dora’s video, and he discovers that Rod’s penis has hypospadias (a condition that causes the urethra to open on the underside of the penis). After Rod explains what it is to Matt, he asks Matt to not tell anybody about it, especially the girls that he has been hanging out with, because he once showed it to a woman that he tried to get intimate with and it freaked her out (and he adds that he hasn’t shown a girl his penis ever since that moment). This causes Matt to realize that Rod’s masculinity took a severe hit from that incident, which is why he proves his manhood by using penis weights and builds himself up by verbally running down women. That night, Matt – knowing that his time to find his mystery maiden is about to run out since final exams start next week – decides to do something out of complete desperation: He stands outside the women’s dormitory and shouts out a long, impassioned speech professing his love for his mystery girl in front all of the girls who reside there. When he is done, all of the girls shout out that they are his mystery girl – except for the girl who never leaves her room. He rushes up to her room and opens the door, but she informs him that she isn’t the girl that he is looking for and that the real one lies a couple of doors down to his right. Matt realizes that Patty is the one who resides in that particular room, so he goes up to her door and tells her through it that he knows that she is the one. However, she tells him to go away, explaining that he fell for a different Patty in that elevator, and that is not who she is. She adds that she tried to make him fall in love with the “real” her and not the Patty he first met, but she saw that he was in love with the latter because of the way he looked at her. After again asking him to go away, the crestfallen Matt complies.

In his last Women’s Studies class with the radical feminist teacher, Ms. Stern (Aimee Graham), Matt stands up to her by giving a short speech promoting gender equality, and when she offers no response to it, he gets applauded by his classmates. Patty is then shown packing her belongings in preparation for a move to off-campus housing, but Crick appears outside her door and starts banging on it. As he orders her to open up, we find out that, because of what Matt did to his tongue, he now mumbles and lisps when he speaks. A minute or two later, Matt – having decided that Crick needs to be held accountable for his actions – confronts Crick and tells him that he is never going to bother Patty again because he is going to the police to press sexual assault charges against him, and then he shows him the severed piece of his tongue in a small plastic bag as evidence. Crick tells him that he’ll never prove it, but then some women standing nearby – inspired by Matt’s bravery – speak up about how Crick tried to sexually assault them as well, and Matt narrates that, together, they put Crick away. Meanwhile, Patty hears all of this, and though she is surprised that “Francesca” was really Matt in disguise, she also realizes that Matt truly does care about the “real” her.

Soon after, Wendy confesses to Matt that she is a lesbian, and she explains that she was afraid to reveal this to him or anyone else for the longest time because she was afraid of what others might think about her, especially her parents. However, she is telling him this now because she feels that she can deal with it now, and she admits to Matt that she initially helped him in his search for his mystery girl because she hoped that, while he was out trying to find his girl, he might find one for her. He ends up fixing her up with the dorm’s tough girl, Arlene (Katherine Heigl), whom he discovered was a lesbian a few days prior. He also takes some time to fix up Rod with Dora, and he orchestrates their first sexual encounter virtually the same way he first met Patty: By having them meet up in Clark Hall’s elevator and then shutting off all power in the building so they will have a chance to get intimate in the dark without any interruptions. Plus, in that setting, Dora would not see Rob’s penile defect and get freaked out by it. Matt informs us through another narration that the two of them had an electrifying night, and they have been together ever since.

As the power outage continues, Matt decides to go after Patty one last time, so he heads up to her room. After giving her the kind of stare that clearly shows that he loves her, she smiles, and then they start getting physical. Their silhouettes are seen through the shades covering the room’s windows by most of the girls standing outside, and we soon hear the girls express their happiness over how the two of them finally got together.

01 hours 34 minutes