The Heartbreak Kid (2007)()

Pooper:
Both Lila (Malin Akerman) and Miranda (Michelle Monaghan) disown and leave Eddie (Ben Stiller), respectively, for wanting a divorce and the constant lying about supposedly being single. Moreover, Lila gets revenge on Eddie by destroying his passport, which strands him in Mexico. Nonetheless, resolved to win Miranda back, he manages to illegally cross the border and make it to her family house in Mississippi, only to learn she met and married another man. After a protracted quarrel involving Martin (Danny McBride) demanding he leaves Miranda alone, Eddie agrees to walk away from her forever if she admits not loving him to his face, which she does. He leaves heartbroken, but unaware that she actually saw him off looking sad. In the end, Eddie and Miranda reacquaint in Mexico and seemingly rekindle their relationship attempt… EXCEPT HE ONCE AGAIN HIDES FROM HER THAT HE REMARRIED TO A LOCAL WOMAN AS NEEDY AND OBNOXIOUS AS LILA WAS!!

Longer version:
The whole time Eddie interacted with Miranda and her family -including Miranda’s overprotective and tough cousin Martin, who distrusted Eddie from the beginning-, he kept hiding the fact that he was married to a woman he discovered, too late, he didn’t love; moreover, a misunderstanding comes up when they seemingly hear something about “him being in Mexico to mourn his wife, who died at the hands of a maniac”.

Martin catches Eddie in his lies and comes to confront him as he decides to divorce Lila; Eddie, Martin and Buzz (Roy Jenkins) get into a fight where Martin viciously shoves a hot pepper up Eddie’s nose. As the rest of the family comes about wondering what is happening, Martin outs Eddie and he has no choice but to come clean; overwhelmed, Miranda falls into the ocean and Eddie attempts to save her, only to be attacked and injured by jellyfish. Lila comes to his rescue, unaware of his plan, and urinates on him as an antidote to the jellyfish sting -showing her very hairy vagina in the process-.

After everything is clarified, both women leave Eddie -Lila, because of his intention of divorcing her; Miranda, because of him persistently lying about his marriage to Lila and, instead, pretending to be single- and end their vacationing at the resort. Additionally, Lila, in retaliation, destroys Eddie’s passport before leaving, which renders him unable to reenter the United States. Eddie, depressed, left alone and wracked with guilt, descends to alcoholism and self-pitying until “Uncle Tito” (Carlos Mencia), the good-hearted but annoying hotel owner, convinces him to fight for what he truly wants and win Miranda back. Determined, he tries -OVER AND OVER- to cross the border into the U.S. illegally until he manages to make it to Miranda’s family house in Mississippi.

None of them are happy to see him, still resenting what he put Miranda through, but he insists on seeing her with the intention of declaring his true feelings for her. It is then revealed that she met another guy and married him. Shocked upon this discovery, he promises to leave her alone, but still sneaks quietly into her room to surprise her and hear it from her directly. Martin comes behind him and causes a big ruckus, which wakes up the husband, but, before things get out of hand, “Doc” (Jerry Stiller) -Eddie’s dad- intervenes. Eddie swears that if Miranda admits to him, there and then, that she is not in love with him, he will walk away forever, which she does. He takes off, dejected, but does not notice that Miranda, while standing by the window, watches him get away, looking sad and melancholic, presumably because she did love him but decided to marry this other man on the rebound.

Eighteen months pass. Eddie, having indeed divorced Lila and lost his sporting goods’ store to her in the process, moves to Mexico, to the same area where he vacationed before with her and now has a small sporting goods’ stand by the beach. Miranda also comes back to the same resort and they run into each other; it turns out she also ended up divorcing her husband. They appear to come clean to each other about their feelings and look like wanting to give it another try, so they agree to meet again later. But then…

An overbearing and abrasive local woman named Consuela (Eva Longoria), WHO TURNS OUT TO BE EDDIE’S NEW WIFE, comes around questioning him about who that was and he pretends not to know Miranda, thus finding himself in the exact same situation as before. In the very end, it is also found out that Lila herself was in the area, staying over with a donkey who had become her new lover!!